


sudden silence, sudden heat

by melliesgrant



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: M/M, its all just angst and will being sad, its not happy or cute its onesided and depressing, will loves mike but mike loves el
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2019-01-22 19:48:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12489484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melliesgrant/pseuds/melliesgrant
Summary: will thinks unrequited love is the purest form of love, mainly because he's living with it





	sudden silence, sudden heat

everyday he woke up loving him.

every morning will byers opened his eyes with a single thought running through his mind,  _michael wheeler_. it had crept up on him slowly, these feelings towards his best friend, until it got to the point where he could no longer deny to himself his feelings. 

he denied it to everyone else though, because he knew mike would never love him the way he loved mike. 

he knew mike wouldn’t, because mike liked girls and he liked one in particular and he had never shown any type of interest in will.

not even when will was screaming his name, he was always screaming for mike, and mike was always screaming for eleven. always screaming for the one he truly loved, and will had to deal with it. he had to sit and feel his heart break over and over again, just to be healed when he saw that big smile mike gave him. the boy was unintentionally playing with his emotions and breaking his heart every day, and will still loved him nonetheless.

he thinks that’s what love really is, when you love someone even though they don’t love you back, when you love someone even though you get nothing in return. he thinks unrequited love is the purest form of love because of this, but it’s also the most tragic. 

mike would disagree, he would say the most tragic is what he was going through. the feelings of losing something when you almost had it, loving someone and losing them forever.

it’s all relative, that’s all love is.

it’s all great and tragic and poetic and beautiful and the ultimate love story for every couple, and when it comes down to it it’s all beating hearts and love in your eyes and knowing that no matter what you do you’ll lose that person eventually. 

will byers has accepted this at the age of thirteen, he’s young and bright eyed and he’s been through hell and back, and he watches his best friend in stolen moments and wishes that mike would look back. he always looked at mike too long, and mike never looked at him long enough. 

he was looking for the girl will byers could never be, would never be, and so desperately wanted to be.

that was a difference between the two boys, mike was always talking and will rarely did, he much preferred to speak with his eyes. he hoped one day mike would learn to speak with his as well, talk to him with those dark brown eyes and whisper to his heart  _it’s you, it’s always been you_. he wants his eyes to glimmer like the stars when he looks at will, he wants his eyes to sing to him the same song that played in will’s heart whenever he saw him. 

but mike was a talker, he took action and showed with his lips. he didn’t know how to read eyes, and if he did he ignored the messages will’s screamed to him.

and will cried at these thoughts, his eyes screamed with the tears pouring out, and his family thinks it’s ptsd and he lets them think that, it’s much better than admitting the truth. it’s better than admitting he was everything those people said he was, it was better than admitting he would never be loved by the boy he loved so much. 

god, he would have loved michael wheeler all his life with all his heart if he let him, but he never did. he never let will love him more than a friend loves him, he never let will hold his heart and give it tender kisses when it was breaking, he never let will be the one he wanted. 

he already had that, and will had to watch. he had to watch his loves eyes speak another language and sing another song for the girl in the upside down, he had to listen to the screams of the tears forming in mike’s eyes knowing there was nothing he could do about it. 

he had to comfort him when he wanted the girl he loved so, even though will had no one to comfort him when he wanted the boy he could never have.

he thinks that’s how life works, just like love, and he’s learning to accept all this at thirteen. he’s maturing, and he’s not getting his way, and he never complains. 

he never complains because he does understand what he can’t have, and he  _does_ think unrequited love is the purest form. so he loves mike silently, he loves mike in the shadows of the basement in his house and in the musty air of the woods, and he loves him when mike cries and he loves him when mike smiles and he loves him every hour of every day. he loves him and he can be content with not being loved back, because if he can use his love for mike to give him a moment of happiness it will all be worth it. 

loving him is enough for will byers, loving him will always be enough. 

and it starts to hurt less, it’s less of a stabbing pain than a dull pang in his heart. it doesn’t hurt when he’s accepted the truth, that mike wheeler is just someone he has to let break his heart and lose every day of his life until he stops loving him. and even when he looks at the stars and wishes that mike can love him back he knows the truth and the stars know it too, and they flicker back to him to say they’re sorry and he let’s himself lose the love of his life again every day.

that’s what love for will byers is, losing and loving in an endless cycle. 

and now it’s apart of his routine, loving him and accepting that he’ll break his heart every sunset, and the moon will rise to symbolize another night of contemplation before the sun gives him the love again.

and he retreats to his bed and he cries himself to sleep but he still has a smile on his face.

everyday he woke up loving him, and every night he fell asleep losing him


End file.
